From my heart to yours, I hope you are doing really well in this time of uncertainty.
I have been waiting for the right moment of creativity to send out a blog post and have been surprised at how long it has taken to come to me. At times I have felt frustrated with the lack of creative mojo, but, I know myself better than to just push myself, knowing full well it doesn't serve me.
Amidst the chaos and fear surrounding Corona, there has been a wonderful stream of positivity and creativity which has flooded social and mainstream media and it has been an absolute joy to witness, but, I have found that with that, can come the fear that you are not doing enough, producing enough, creating enough.
When we first went into lockdown I posted on social media a wonderful image of a person meditating with the caption "If you can't go outside, go inside". It was a wonderful reminder to use the time to explore the depths of your spirit but, what I didn't see at the time was how difficult this would be for so many because of the exact circumstances that were supposed to be freeing us into having the time and space we all needed to do the work.
The reality of life was that my meditations were often interrupted by a small person asking for a cookie or the noise of an argument breaking out in the living room. My workout session was broken into segments as I did my best to run between weights and the oven for the endless meals I was cooking. My reading and personal development time was interrupted with someone wanting help to build lego or by an older child who was just fed up and bored.
Don't get me started on balancing the homeschooling and my work.
Here is the thing, you start to feel like you are failing. Like you are just not doing enough, being enough and the complex emotions then bring up all the old beliefs about yourself that stop you in your tracks.
But then I had my lesson. *Thank you thank you for my lessons*
My youngest son suddenly blurts out to our elderly neighbour that he was finding it all really hard. He said that all he wanted to do was to go back to school. He wanted to be with his friends. He wanted to play football. He said with his innocent and open heart that this must be what prison felt like "only a little bit better I guess'.
And that is when I realised what REALLY MATTERS.
What really matters is each other. What matters is that we all get through this with laughter in our hearts, with confidence in our wellbeing and without anxiety. As a mother, what matters is that my young ones are okay, that they will not only survive these difficult times but that they will build resiliance, kindness & compassion. What matters is that they feel deeply loved, that they are hugged, cuddled and feel safe. That is what really matters.
And it isn't just about the small people. Take time to speak and laugh with others, take time to let them know they are loved and that better days are coming. Give your husband a hug, call a friend, spread the love - That is what matters.
But mostly, be kind to yourself. Give yourself a break. Release all expectations of what you should be and how you should be doing it. Keep yourself and your family well, that's what matters. Make sure you have enough groceries, that's what matters. Keep vibrations high and joy abundant, that's what matters.
Forget all the expectations - I cant say this enough! If you get 5 minutes to meditate that's a bonus and should come with the joy of appreciation. Think about it, 5 minutes of meditation combined with hours of feeling joy and gratitude for the practice vs 5 minutes of meditation and hours of feeling angry and frustrated that you didn't get enough time. I know which one would serve my spirit better.
Part of the lesson is letting go of all expectations of what 'going inside' means. Going inside doesn't have any rules, thats the beauty of it. Listen to your soul, settle down, relax.
Go inside, explore and allow yourself to settle into complete surrender and bliss.
Be strong my friend, this too shall pass.
Just remember what matters.
With love always x