"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best take it out and teach it to dance!" - Bernard Shaw
The truth is quite simply this. EVERY person on this planet has skeletons in their closet. Yup, thats right. EVERYONE.
It's all our 'dirty' secrets, our embarrassment, our past pain, our hurt, our personal disgust, our shame. It is the cupboard that we ram full of the things we don't think are good enough to show the world about who we are.
Well, let me tell you a thing or two about skeletons. They are the inner core of who we are. Without them, we are merely a shell without the beautiful complexity of experiences that make us so uniquely and wonderfully human.
Of course, we can break our bones and rebuild them, we can strengthen them and weaken them and so too can we strengthen and weaken our experiences.
When we deny our skeletons and try our best to keep the cupboard door shut, we deny our true and authentic selves. We deny who we are. I see this all the time manifesting itself in dis-ease, emotional distress, broken relationships, anger, frustration, lack of success, fear of life, self-abuse, the list is endless.
Every thing that happens from the moment you are born until the moment you leave this world is your lesson and your experience. Allow yourself to be who you were born to be. Be unapologetically you!
So instead of holding the door shut, how can we teach our skeletons to dance?
1. Let go of other people's judgements. They cannot affect you unless you allow them, and anyway, a person's judgement is more a reflection of their life than of yours. As the wonderful Don Miguel Ruiz would say, "Don't take it personally." I always remind my clients (and myself!) that what other people think of you, is none of your business!
2. Let go of your own judgements about yourself! Sometimes we are our worst critique! Start talking kindly to yourself and remind yourself that you are perfect exactly as you are!
3. Celebrate your imperfections, they too make up the beauty of who you are! There is a reason I am #thisimperfectgirl. Quite frankly, I am owning it baby!
4. Accept that you are doing the best you can. Sometimes we can't do the best we can and thats okay too! Accept you are human and that most of the time, you are doing your best or at least you are doing okay.
5. Be happy with where you have been and where you are going. You wouldn't be heading in this direction if it wasn't for your past experiences.
6. Love yourself a little bit more. All of you, including all your 'mistakes' and perceived flaws. You really are a beautiful soul and you are loved regardless of how much you feel you deserve.
7. Stop apologising for yourself and who you are! If others don't like your truth then they are not the tribe for you. You do not have to live their journey, you just have to live yours. Be proud of who you are.
8. Let go of 'owning' the past. Be grateful for the lessons you have learnt, accept that it is a part of who you are today but then learn to let it go. It is behind you and from this moment, make a conscious choice to stop looking behind and start moving forward.
9. Appreciate that everyone else has their own skeletons and that you respect and honour that by withholding your own judgements about how people should be. We are all just doing our best and everyone just wants to be loved and be happy.
10. Repeat to yourself whenever that negative chatter appears..... I LOVE YOU!!!!! Say this to yourself over and over again until you finally give those skeletons a hug and can take them out to dance.